Women are beautiful and I assume that most of us can agree on that. With that being said, we don’t all agree on what makes women beautiful. While many people compare and contrast the value of feminine characteristics, I have discovered that one reigns supreme. A woman’s knowledge and thirst for God sits high above any physical, intellectual, or personality characteristic.
Some have made this argument before and yet few of them have explained practically why the attribute of knowing God and thirsting for Him sits so far above all the others. The “why” is very important because every guy faces a fierce battle when it comes to attraction. We can’t just tell guys what they should be attracted to because many times we find the responsible and theological parts of our brains shutting down when we hang out with a really hot woman.
I think it’s important to explain to all single guys, both young and old, that there is a reason to look first and foremost for a Godly woman besides the fact that it’s the right thing to do. It’s important to know that God is not a cosmic killjoy who is trying to block all of our fun. I say that because most of us will feel that way at least once when it comes to dating.
God is trying to ensure that we experience all the joy and peace that He really wants to give us and that’s why He tells us to make Godliness the most important quality when it comes to looking for a wife. I admit this seems really counterintuitive because as a guy I’m visually wired and I feel very drawn to good looks at times. While there’s nothing wrong with someone who is physically attractive, Godliness provides WAY more than any physical characteristic ever could.
I say that because Godliness is an infinite resource of joy while physical attributes are not. I don’t just mean that beauty fades over time. While that’s true, even in their prime physical characteristics can’t provide the same wealth that Godliness does. A woman’s Godliness gives us a physical representation of God’s infinite and unconditional love for us and that will beat physical attributes every day of the week.
Like I said earlier, it helps to break down this theological statement in order to make it easier for practical application. When a woman knows God AND that He loves her, this gives her a confidence that can’t be matched by any other characteristic or achievement. Knowing that she is loved and the confidence that comes from that will dramatically improve her ability to enjoy life and love others.
This dramatic improvement will come from her reflecting a very different kind of love. God’s love is unconditional while the love that we normally have for one another is based off feelings and circumstances, like whether someone is funny or hot. When someone loves me when I’m grumpy or without expecting something in return, it makes a really big difference in my heart.
The truly incredible thing about a Godly woman who thirsts for righteousness is that she will only provide more and more love as she gets to know Christ better. Her ability to reflect the love of Christ and provide a tangible expression of His unconditional love will only increase over time. While very few women will become obviously funnier or more intelligent after they get married, a Godly woman will offer more and more of her Godly beauty as her relationship with Jesus grows stronger.
Practically speaking, this is like choosing between a single scoop of vanilla ice cream and an all you can eat buffet of all your favorite foods. While that ice cream does look really good, it doesn’t compare to something that doesn’t end. The truth about physical characteristics is that they can’t give us the lasting enjoyment, intimacy, and love that our hearts desire. Our bodies weren’t made to live off Skittles and our hearts weren’t made to live off of a hot body.
If I gave you a giant bag of skittles, you’d be really happy until I told you that it is the only food you can eat all day. I think I would rather do a juice cleanse than just eat Skittles because they would give me a killer stomach ache. In the same way, I’d rather wait for a Godly woman than just follow my desire for physical satisfaction.
As Christian guys, we’ve got to see that putting Godliness above all other attributes in our search for a spouse is more than just a theological ideal. It’s a guiding principal to help us maximize our lives and not kill our joy. We’re going to be left wanting more if we put anything else first.
I understand that looking for someone to date can be really difficult and very confusing. I also know that God cares about our frustrating predicament of finding a solid Christian lady He cares enough to give us advice on the subject and tell us what to look for.
“She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.”(Proverbs 31:20)
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”(Proverbs 31:26)
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”(Proverbs 31:30)
You’ll be pleasantly surprised at the beauty and joy that you’ll find when you follow His advice.
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