There’s hope beyond what you can see.
If I could only say one thing to someone laboring under the weight of porn, it would be “there is hope”. The weight of porn is so heavy and it’s such a difficult problem to defeat that we easily become discouraged and lose hope in the face of it. No matter how bad things get, I promise that there is hope.
Thankfully, I have a little more space in the blog to explain where that hope comes from. Over the course of the next few weeks or possibly month, I’m going to talk about how I experienced victory from porn. I’m not sure how long this series will take because this is such an important topic to me.
I also don’t want to just gloss over something that might help anyone laboring under the weight of porn. I’m going to start with talking about the practical side of tackling the problem, then I’ll discuss the emotional side of things, and finally we’ll take a look at the spiritual part of the struggle.
I pray that my story of victory and freedom will give you hope.
Before we dive into the practical stuff, I need to make it clear that God played a key role in every aspect of my story. I would not have employed any of the following practical ways to fight porn if I didn’t have God’s help. His children gave me the encouragement, inspiration, and personal attention that I needed to fight back against porn; they basically convinced me that victory and freedom were possible.
I wouldn’t have made the first step in fighting back against porn without them and their reminder that all things are possible through God.
Welcome to the War
We throw the word ‘struggle’ around quite a bit, but we’re actually just saying that we suffer from a problem with porn. Struggling or fighting back takes much more than acknowledging that you look at porn and that you don’t like it. You need to actually start fighting back and taking practical steps in order to truly struggle against porn; these are a couple of ways that really helped me.
1. Change Your Perspective
We tend to shove porn under the rug and it tends to pop up at the worst time to devour us. I had to change my perspective on porn from a habit I wanted to break to an enemy that I needed to defeat. Making this change in perspective was incredibly important because my porn problem was slowly devouring my mind.
Porn slowly devours us through forming a powerful chemical dependency that comes from a powerful chemical reaction that happens when we look at porn and masturbate. Research has shown that looking at porn is similar to doing heroine and cocaine at the same time. The more you look at porn and experience that chemical explosion, the more you become chemically dependent on porn.
It’s common to believe that, by fighting porn, we’re just fighting our natural sexual desire. This misconception makes it difficult to fight back because we feel like we’re playing a tug of war with a natural part of ourselves and that we can’t hold out forever. The truth is that a chemical dependency has hijacked our sex drive and made us feel this powerful pull to porn.
We must stop thinking of this as an annoying habit and start seeing it as a monster that is slowly trying to devour us. Every time you look at porn and masturbate, you increase that chemical dependency. The only way to decrease that dependency is to fight back and stop looking at porn.
I can tell you that I have felt the effects of this dependency diminish. While I still feel the physical desire for sex from time to time, I’ve gone more than 18 months without porn, masturbation, or sex of any kind. It gets easier the longer you go without it and I can feel the difference between my desire for sex and the chemical dependency that used to pull on me everyday.
2. Get An Accountability Partner
I’ve talked before about how confessing my problem with porn was the first important step and we’ll talk more about that in the emotional and spiritual blogs. In a practical sense, I needed a small group of guys to hold me accountable because it gave me somewhere to run when things got difficult. Whenever I started to feel my temptation become a problem, I could call or text the guys in my group and they would check up on me and give me the encouragement I needed to fight back.
It’s important to say that accountability is our responsibility. We have to be the one who keeps our accountability partner or group updated on what’s going on. We can’t just expect them to sense when things become difficult and call us out of the blue.
It was never fun or exciting to call those guys and tell them I was struggling because it required admitting that I was weak and needed help. There’s an incredible freedom that comes after you admit that to yourself and others though; I promise it’s worth it. Those calls and conversations also reminded me that I wasn’t alone in my fight and that God had put guys in my life to help me; that was priceless to me.
Where to Find Hope
Knowing that I wasn’t alone in the fight and that God wanted to help me gave me hope in even the darkest times of my struggle. That same hope is available to every person who labors under the weight of porn; they just have to reach for it. The best way to reach for that hope is to get plugged into a local church and find a place that hosts a program like Celebrate Recovery.
I could not have changed my perspective on fighting porn or experienced the incredible accountability that I did if I hadn’t plugged into my church. God offers incredible hope to those laboring under the weight of sin and He offers that hope through His children. We have to lock arms with our brothers and sisters and actively fight back against sin if we want to experience victory.
The next blog will continue my discussion on the practical ways to fight porn. Please leave any feedback in the comments section or email me at comments@wastelandkings.net. Until then, I hope you experience the love of the One who desires to break every chain on your heart.
Image Copyright: the unnamed
by 
Parker Teague
Jun 16, 2015
Need prayers ive been struggling with Porn since ive been 14 ill he 19 next month. God called me to preach a year ago.
Matthew Rial
Jun 25, 2015
Hey Parker, prayers are coming your way. First and foremost I recommend getting plugged into a local church and getting faithful believers to consistently speak into your life. I’d love to answer any questions or help you find a local church. The blog’s email is comments@wastelandkings.net
Deb
Jul 29, 2015
We have just discovered our 14 year old son has been looking at porn websites for almost a year. He is a Christian and has prayed for God to help him stop even before we found out about this and felt us finding out was God’s answer to his prayers. We have been monitoring him for almost a month and limiting access to portable devices with Internet access. It breaks my heart that while we were out a couple nights ago he was looking up these sights again. I’m not sure how to help him. If you have any advice I would really appreciate it. Thank you for being open about this subject and creating a place for people to turn to.
Matthew Rial
Jul 31, 2015
Hey Deb, thanks for sharing. Being a parent to any teenager is tough and dealing with a porn habit is always difficult.
The first thing I’d say is that you’re not alone. There’s countless people like me who’ve dealt with porn and many parents who’ve helped their children deal with this problem. If you haven’t done so, I strongly recommend your family getting plugged into a local church. Having other Christians to lean on when things get tough is one of the greatest sources of strength in my life.
Second, I’d look into installing Covenant Eyes on the computers and devices. You’ll also have to setup Restrictions on Apple devices if you go down this road. I have Covenant Eyes installed on all of my computers and devices.
Thirdly, remember porn is a heart issue and not a behavior problem. The behavior is a symptom of our broken and sinful hearts. Reflecting Christ’s unconditional love to your son in the midst of this struggle will go a long way to helping him deal with his broken and sinful heart. It’s important to express that porn is wrong but that we still love one another despite the sin.
Finally (and maybe the most important part), God is the master of taking painful situations and making them into something beautiful. Dealing with this problem should begin and end with an abiding and daily relationship with Him. He’s got the power to break every chain and fill us up with strength we could never get on our own. He’s with you and your son and He wants what’s best for both of you.
I’d be happy to help more or answer other questions. Feel free to send me an email at comments@wastelandkings.net
dentus
Aug 4, 2015
GOD almighty will be by your side AMEN
Jeremy O'Brien
Aug 14, 2015
I struggle every time I turn around I do really good for a while and out of no where bam there is something there To drag me right back inI love my wife with all my heart and soul I don’t know why that things keep dragging me back into porn I really don’t like it not as much as she thinks I do see things I choose to do it but really I don’t feel I do choose to do it I would rather choose not to do it because every time she sees I’ve been looking at porn Or something in that nature It breaks her heart It hurts her so bad Everytime I hit her with this It kills me insideIt is driving me crazy it is driving her crazyWhen I was young I was told porn is OK My mom took a p**** book to court and my dad told the judge he would rather me learn sex from p**** then I learned it from the street and catch a disease so I grew up thinking p**** was okayIt drives her crazy it drives me crazy because I do really good for a while maybe even the long time but then right there again it keeps coming backI don’t want to hurt my wife anymore I want my wife to be happy always And every time this happens It breaks her out over and over and seeing the tears breaks my heart Because it is me that keeps breaking her heart over and over And I feel she is way too good for this
Matthew Rial
Aug 17, 2015
Hey Jeremy,
Thanks for reaching out and posting your comment. It takes quite a bit of courage to come forward and I really appreciate it.
First of all, I’d ask if you’ve ever looked into installing Covenant Eyes on your computer and other internet devices; such as tablets and phones. I have Covenant Eyes installed on every device and it makes a big difference in my life. I highly recommend giving it a try.
Secondly, the Bible talks about how we do what we hate and not what we actually want to do. I recommend reading Romans 7 and paying particular attention to verse 15. Porn is particular creates a chemical dependency which draws us back to it time and time again. I can tell you from experience the strength of that pull becomes weaker the longer you spend away from porn.
Thirdly, do you have a relationship with Jesus? I ask because Jesus was the true catalyst in my journey to freedom. When His unconditional love was reflected through others, it made a powerful impact on my heart. It showed me that I can walk in the light and don’t have to retreat to the darkness to find love.
If you’ve got ANY questions or comments about anything I’ve asked you Jeremy, feel free to let me know. You can reach me at comments@wastelandkings.net
Freedom is possible.
Matthew
Oct 19, 2015
Hey Jeremy my name is matthew and I have the same problem and it’s ruining my relationship with my girlfriend of 3 and a half years I was wondering if you have found anything to help you
Matthew Rial
Nov 16, 2015
Hey Matthew, I’d love to offer any help I can. If you have any specific questions or just want to talk, feel free to email me at comments@wastelandkings.net. Thank you for your courage and sharing.
Patricia delves
Oct 3, 2015
I have a grandson who’s 19 years and is into porn keep loosing jobs from stealing getting people’s phone and getting fired can’t leave him alone I take away his phone have to put password on my tv but on the outside he finds ways to get into the porn right now I am the only family me member trying with him but I am getting so frustrated because I keep telling him when he feels those urges to turn to jehovah in prayer and to take time to fill his mind and heart with spiritual things I am trying to get him into a program to help him just don’t know where to start just feel he is a treat to society and is very concern he will end up in prison any suggestion
John
Oct 8, 2015
Thanks for this blog, it’s really well written and heartfelt.
I’ve been searching for an accountability partner, someone through a social network that I can reach out to in times of need but there seems to be no platform that I can find anyway.
Anyway I’d like to share if that’s OK.
Years ago after I got married I turned to porn to fulfill my desires, my wife and I were no longer attending church and based on what the world said porn was fine.
It turned into a daily thing, I couldn’t start my day without it, I would turn down my wife at night so that I could enjoy my fix in the morning.
Slowly it ruined our relationship, she couldn’t measure up to the unrealistic depiction of girls on screen, the only way I could enjoy my wife was if I visualized what I’d seen earlier.
This went on for years, we would go months not touching, barely even acknowledging each other because I had what I wanted and she went through life alone and depressed.
One day I was at work and searching for a fix when God placed something else in front of me, a book about “real marriage” and a subtitle that claimed to have the truth about sex, marriage, and God.
It was an incredibly amazing read and it was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. The author showed what happens to your brain on porn, what happens to your marriage on porn and gave me a completely new perspective.
I was able to stop my porn habit completely, like you said above this was only through the grace of God.
My marriage improved, I started to read my Bible and we went back to church.
Now, a couple of years later I have found myself struggling with temptation again, our walk with Jesus is going really well, we’re involved at our church and we tithe and we read the Bible everyday, but somehow this temptation snuck in and three times in the past two weeks I have given in to it. I feel awful everytime I do, last time I has nowhere to go but up, this time I have so much to lose by doing that and I don’t know what to do.
I don’t want this habit to seep in and destroy everything God has graced me with these past years.
The urge is so strong it feels like I can’t get away, if I just give in it will go away, I find that I’m lying to myself to make it ok and then after I feel so stupid.
The struggle has become daily again and some days I get through but others I don’t.
I’m looking for someone that would be willing to partner with me through Facebook or Twitter, someone who maybe goes through the same thing that we can keep each other accountable.
Thanks again for this blog and allowing me to share.
God bless.
Azriel
Oct 18, 2015
Hey guys ..I am a teenager..i am Indian and i am Christian …I have been struggling with porn ever since i was 10..i am 15 now …God has helped in plenty ways ..i mean like u said He has had a big help in my “battle” its really awesome to find pipol who know what this stuff does to us..i stopped for some time …than it kick started 2 years ago ..i had counselling from my parent my mum ..but some how ..it keeps dragging me back …i have watched various videos on how to stop watching porn ..until i came past your blog ..its been a huge help for me …thanks a big help …God Bless man
Matthew Rial
Nov 16, 2015
Thanks for sharing Azriel. I am so glad that my blog offered some amount of help. If you’ve got any more questions or just want some encouragement, feel free to email me.
Martin Anthony Delaney
Oct 30, 2015
Prayer To Overcome By Jesus Blood: Dear God I Today Come To You And I Ask For Your Strength And Wisdom And Guidance For Breaking The Curses And The Three Medical Conditions That I Have in My Life1987,1988,1989,1990,1991,1992,1993,1994,1995,1996,1997,1998,1999,2000,2001,2002,2003,2004,2005,2006,20072008,2009,2010,2011,2012,2013,2014,2015 oppositions against Your life In Jesus Might and holy name amen.
ron
Dec 24, 2015
I am married, and struggle for years on gay porn, I really neeed help to fight this stronghold, I need a partner, with similar problem to help with this struggle.
Matthew Rial
Jan 5, 2016
Hey Ron, thanks for reaching out and commenting. Are you plugged into a local church and involved in a small group? I also recommend you check out regenerationrecovery.org or celebraterecovery.com Porn is a really difficult struggle and it’s best to throw everything we’ve got at it.
Accountability partners are GREAT. It also helps to have more than just an accountability partner. I didn’t start to experience freedom from porn until I started taking multiple steps which weren’t very comfortable at the time. All of them were worth it though.
Let me know if any of this helps and if you have anymore questions.
Natalie
Mar 11, 2016
My question is how can I support my spouse who has a severe addiction. He was struggling so hard last night. He has been clean for a short while but going without makes him want to turn the urges toward me. He doesn’t force himself but he will usually keep coercing until I decide to. But it’s constant that he is trying to get me to. And not that I don’t want to but it’s quite a bit that he is thinking about it. He is in a program but I feel like it may not be enough to help him. He has struggles with p and m since he was 11. How can I be supportive to him without enabling him? Thank you.
Matthew Rial
Mar 15, 2016
Hey Natalie, thanks for reaching out. I appreciate your courage. Our addictions are expressions of our desire for control. This world and our lives are filled with uncertainty, pain, and chaos. Our natural, and sinful, response is to reach out for any way to control our circumstances because that makes us feel better about everything that has gone wrong or is going wrong.
Your husband is NOT the first guy whose struggled inside of the context of marriage. You are not the first wife to deal with this difficult problem. What can be the best medicine for this struggle is other believers who are running towards Christ alongside you. Those believers can encourage us, hold us accountable, and reflect the unconditional love of Christ to us.
This love is the key to breaking free from our addictions. It satisfies our hearts in a way nothing else can. It helps us trust God and hold everything in our lives with an open hand instead of grasping for control.
I understand if you are not a follower of Jesus Christ or do not feel super excited about getting plugged into a local church. I recommend both because they’ve been the biggest forces for positive change in my life. I’d be lost in my addiction and in denial of it’s existence without them.
As for practical solutions, I recommend Covenant Eyes as a filtering software. I have it installed on every device even though I’ve been sober for two and a half years. Both porn and masturbation create chemical dependencies and they’re almost impossible to break without taking time away from them.
I remember going into withdrawal after I stopped looking at porn. It was kind of like stopping caffeine. It hurts for a little while, but you just have to take the battle one day at a time.
I do believe practical steps can be a bandaid at best though. If we can’t trust in the unconditional power of God’s love, our hearts will grasp for one outlet of control or another.
Thank you for your question and let me know if you have any other ones.
Dave Howe
Mar 15, 2016
Great post about starting the battle against porn. I agree that victory is possible and God wants you to be free. He wants a sweet relationship with you.
You can’t do it on your own. You need God’s power and a small group of men. Be in The Word and memorize passages of the Bible.
Blessings, brother.
James Schmidt
Apr 13, 2016
I have been a addict for a long time. I have tried fighting several times. I am now at a point where I’m going to loss ever thing. I really need help and prayer.
Matthew Rial
Apr 15, 2016
Hey James, thanks for reaching out and commenting. I appreciate your courage. Feel free to email me at comments@wastelandkings.net if you’d like to talk about your addiction and some practical steps you can take. I’ll be watching for your email.
Darren warren
May 1, 2016
I like many others commenting here have battled porn and masturbation addiction since I was 10-11 years old. I was introduced to sex by my mom and was molested and never told anyone till recent. My wife knows about addiction. I have tried to control on my own and of course have had no luck. I am trying to find a accountability partner and I have a good church home. I thank Jesus that I am delivered from the power of darkness. I believe I am a overcomer but the victory hasn’t come yet. Thanks for the article.
Matthew Rial
May 11, 2016
Hey Darren, thanks for sharing about your struggles and your past. I’m encouraged by your courage in sharing. I recommend looking into Regeneration Recovery or Celebrate Recovery. They are both great programs to help us work through the hurts, habits, and hangups. If you’ve got any questions, please email me at comments@wastelandkings.net
Mike
May 4, 2016
I’m trying to quit using pornography and enjoy sex with my wife again! Please send me anything useful to help me quit pornography!it’s destroying my life and these girls lives who are kidnapped and sold in human trafficking rings. I need constant reminders of this! Thanks! Mike
Matthew Rial
May 11, 2016
Hey Mike, thanks for commenting and reaching out. I would love to offer some help. Would you mind emailing me at comments@wastelandkings.net I can offer some practical advice and Biblical wisdom that helped me quite a bit.
jerome lee
May 16, 2016
Hey Matthew Dial I have been struggling with porn for 7 years or more. I know satan spirits are involved. I pray to my Saviour, and He helps me, but I get weak and my prayers cease. I believe in the chemical dependency that you spoke of. I used to be a part of a website called settingcaptivesfree.com but for some reason they switched to another program. I really need help, I’m on my phone for hours, this addiction is taking time away from my kids and wife. I need help, is their any websites that I can use that will help me fight back?
Matthew Rial
May 16, 2016
Hey Jerome,
Thanks for commenting and reaching out. If you’re looking for practical help, I recommend giving Covenant Eyes some serious thought. It’s helped me a great deal. They helped me get things set up on my phone so I can’t access porn on it.
Also, checkout https://fortifyprogram.org/ That’s another program that helps people break the addiction. They also help you figure out the patterns and triggers which lead to looking at porn.
I also recommend you look a little deeper than practical solutions. My porn addiction was an expression of old wounds in my heart. God wants to heal those wounds and help you live in emotional health and freedom.
Please checkout recoveryregeneration.org or celebraterecovery.com
If you’ve got anymore questions, please email me at comments@wastelandkings.net
Les
Jun 12, 2016
its been 9 years,I feel like there is no hope. I’ve tried everything. Im a Bible college graduate and a leader and this thorn in my side leaves me more and more broken, depressed and distant from God. I NEED HELP
Matthew Rial
Jun 14, 2016
Hey Les,
Thanks for reaching out and posting a comment. I know that takes courage. Have you been open with those around you about your addiction? I A big step in my journey to freedom came when I opened up to those around me. God loves you no matter what you have done and no matter what you will do. Nothing will separate us from his love. (Romans 8:38-39)
We can be convinced though that he doesn’t love us. That’s the deceitfulness of sin that Hebrews 3:13 is talking about. I also recommend checking out Regeneration Recovery and Celebrate Recovery to see if they have a program in a church near you. Let me know what you think and please get back to me. I want to help.
Will
Aug 8, 2016
Hey Matthew I’ve been struggling with porn for the last 20 years. I’ve confessed to my wife about it and she was upset of course. After a little while I stopped doing it but now it’s like the urges come and go. I really want to live a Christian life you know follow jesus and maybe one day help someone else out with their addiction. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!
Matthew Rial
Aug 10, 2016
Hey Will, thanks for reaching out. I would be happy to help you. Do you mind emailing me at comments@wastelandkings.net so I don’t have to overload the comments section with my response. 🙂
If you’re not comfortable with that, I ask if you are currently plugged into a local church and involved with a small group there? I ask because Christian community was such a big factor in my recovery and freedom. Get back to me however you would like and we’ll go from there!
Remember God loves you and we have Christ’s righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Jake
Sep 12, 2016
I need help too.So remember me in prayers
Matthew Rial
Sep 20, 2016
Hey Jake, thanks for commenting. I am praying for you now. If you’d like to talk about anything specifically, I’d be happy to follow up with you. The email for the blog is comments@wastelandkings.net Feel free to email me anytime and I will get back to you.
Caleb909
Oct 16, 2016
Been struggling for such a long time. And I want out I’ve struggled for a year now. I’m a Christian and I’ve prayed and prayed but I’m not getting any answers or help from god it feels like. When I feel the urge it’s so powerful and it hurts. I don’t know what to do I’m gonna have a couple friends keep tabs.
Michael
Oct 16, 2016
Please pray that I’ll be delivered from pornography I wanna do the right thing I wanna make a change in my life I love the Lord but I cannot do this without his help
Matthew Rial
Oct 25, 2016
Hey Michael, I am praying right now. Thanks for commenting and opening up about your problem with porn. That’s not easy to do. Would you mind emailing the blog and telling me a little more about your situation so I could offer some help that’s a little more personalized? The blog’s email is comments@wastelandkings.net
Ian
Oct 18, 2016
Hi,
I’m 16 years old and have been struggling with porn/masturbation ever since I was 11. When I came to the realization that I have an addiction, it was seemed like it was too late. I have been watching it for so long that my body will only respond to it. I know I need to stop in order for my body to heal. However, every time I try, I end up relapsing in about 3 days. I really need help, but I’m too scared to talk to my parents, friends or anybody about it. Any help would be greatly appreaciated.
Thanks and God bless you,
Matthew Rial
Oct 25, 2016
Hey Ian, thanks for posting. I really appreciate your courage. I know what it’s like to be stuck in the muck and mire of porn addiction. It is a painful and frustrating place to be. You are not alone though. Jesus loves you and he’s not going to give up on you. Romans 8:38-39 says ‘For I am sure of that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor heights nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Nothing can separate you from Jesus’ love if you’ve got a personal relationship with him. (Romans 10:9-10) That doesn’t mean temptation isn’t really tough and the chemical dependency porn and masturbation creates makes things even worse. God is still faithful though. He gives us what we need to fight. He promises as much in 1 Corinthians 10:13 when he says ‘No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it.”
There are many tools we have at our disposal to fight porn; like accountability and filtering software. If you’d like to talk more about them, please email the blog and we’ll go from there.
Be strong brother. God is with you.
-Matt
Paul Valentine
Nov 20, 2016
I have been addicted to porn for 2 years now and I am not a single person I have a girlfriend that I love. I am going to start fighting back for the first time in 2 years
Matthew Rial
Feb 22, 2017
That’s great to hear Paul. Please let me know if there is any way I can help!
Jen
Nov 29, 2016
Please pray for me and my husband. It has been hard struggle… he has always denied his addiction even when i have seen the evidence on both the computer and the way he treats me. I struggle with not feeling good enough and feeling rejected everyday. He no longer wears his ring. He is going through a hard time and his addiction keeps him from seeing i am right here… that persona! I am hoping he will reach out for help. I’ve seen him withdraw into an anxious hole and he is confused and cannot seem to understand that it is where his addiction has led him… even into the work place which of course he could leave his job for.
Matthew Rial
Feb 22, 2017
Hey Jen, that sounds like a REALLY hard situation. I am very sorry. I am praying now. I encourage you to reach out to a local church that preaches the Gospel and relies on the Bible for truth. I have never been in your situation and cannot fully empathize. I do know that my church has helped me in really big ways. The people there have played a really big role in my life and helped me through some really hard times.
God still loves you and your husband Jen. He is there for you and wants to bring healing, comfort, and peace into this situation. Sometimes, the best way to start experiencing those is to just find a believer who will sit down over a cup of coffee and hear our problems. I encourage you to look for a church where people are happy to do that. I’d be happy to connect you with a woman from my church whose been through a similar issue. If you would like that, please email my blog at comments@wastelandkings.net Or you can checkout this site and email any of the people involved with this ministry http://www.watermark.org/dallas/ministries/re-engage
Midge Kukowski
Jan 30, 2017
Are there free groups like AA or Alanon for porn addition? Are there groups for hurting spouses that are free? Are jealousy and anger and control issues related to this porn addition? Hurting…
Matthew Rial
Feb 22, 2017
Hey Midge, I am really sorry to hear that you are hurting. I am praying for you now. That’s a great question when it comes to 12-step programs. I recently graduated from a 12-step program called Regeneration and it was super helpful for me. The website for that program is here http://www.regenerationrecovery.org/ Also, there’s a program called Celebrate Recovery which is quite similar. It’s website is here http://www.celebraterecovery.com/
As for your more specific questions, I can’t speak to every person’s issue. I know from my experience and other people’s experience that jealousy and control issues are something which bother many people who have struggled with either porn or sex addiction. They have also been a struggle for people who’ve never had those struggles. Like most issues, both porn and jealousy stem from issues in the heart. If we don’t open our hearts to Christ’s love and healing, those heart issues will express themselves one way or another. I hope this helps. Please let me know if there are any other questions I can answer or if you would like help getting connected to one of the 12-step programs.
Octavia L Bates
Feb 6, 2017
Hi Matthew,
I’m not a porn addict but my boyfriend is we have two little girls together and I don’t know what to do I keep praying he knows it hurts me. He lies, deletes history thinking I don’t know but I track his web searches. I’m crying every time I go to work because I know he’s home having the time of his life. I’m crying as I’m writing because I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and its hard to move on but if he chooses it over me and my feelings then he obviously don’t love me. I can’t. Compete with it and praying seems to be only making me feel at peace until I see his manipulative lying selfish face when I get home. What do I do. He hasn’t tried getting help, he thinks it’s OK and its not.
Matthew Rial
Feb 22, 2017
Hey Octavia, thank you very much for reaching out and posting this. I am very sorry for your situation and I am very sorry for not responding sooner. I have never been in your situation and cannot fully empathize with what you are going through. I imagine it is very hard and incredibly painful though. I am praying for you now. No situation is beyond God’s love and supernatural healing. That doesn’t make any situation easy though and that doesn’t mean things should always stay the same.
I would be happy to connect you with a Godly gal whose been through a similar situation or at least can empathize with what it’s like to date someone who struggles with porn. If you email my blog at comments@wastelandkings.net, then I will connect you. Also, I encourage you to seek out a local church that preaches the Gospel and relies on the Bible for authority. Again, I have not been through your situation and yet my church has played a vital role in helping me through the hardest times of my life. Thanks again for commenting Octavia. If there is anything else I can do, please let me know.