Wasteland Kings

It’s important to take a moment before I dive into this list. I could not have experienced the freedom I have without God. Without him, all of these steps would get me a partial freedom.

This would look something like a work release from prison and it’s quite common with porn addiction. Plenty of guys talk about experiencing long seasons of freedom before falling back into the muck and mire. Partial freedom happens because we change habits and brain chemistry without healing the heart.

The wounds of our heart flow out into our actions and fuel the sin problems. I say this because there is hope for sobriety from porn to be found in the steps below. The hope of Christ and his ability to heal our hearts is far greater.

1. Confession and Accountability

This is a scary step and yet it is important. Pornography thrives in the dark and drowns in the light. When we bring it to the light, we experience God’s unconditional love reflected through his children.

This love has the power to break the shadow of shame which hangs over us. Shame makes us think porn forms part of our identity and people wouldn’t love us if they knew everything we’ve done. This is a powerful lie and we need the truth of God’s love to defeat it.

I recommend plugging into a small group at your church or a recovery group. Ask those guys to hold you accountable and tell them when the best times are to check on you. Confess to them in person or on the phone whenever you stumble.

It’s also a great idea to let others know when you’re tempted or if you’ve seen a ‘trigger’. Temptation isn’t sin and yet opening up about it reminds us that we’re not alone in our fight for freedom.

2. Identify ‘Triggers’

Triggers are something which cause your mind to dwell on pornography or lust. I’m not talking about a passing thought. I’m talking about the hard switch in thinking which pulls us down a thought path like a magnet pulls metal.

An image, a word, or even a smell can trigger us to run down this path. Part of the struggle with this is admitting to ourselves and others that something triggered us. I want people to see me as strong and disciplined.

It’s not fun to admit the power of the temptations which pull me to porn. Even when I don’t want to think about it, thoughts and temptation can hit me like a tidal wave. It’s a little like how an alcoholic should stay away from bars because just the smell could trigger a relapse.

You might be thinking it’s a stretch to compare a problem with porn to alcoholism. I encourage you to read my next point.

3. Respect Your Enemy

Fighting for freedom from porn is a battle. There’s no other way to look at this problem and find the freedom we want. If we think about it as a pesky habit, we’ll lose one fight after another.

The pull towards pornography is one of the strongest forces I’ve experienced in my life. Even for those not addicted to it, there’s an uphill battle against their own brain chemistry. Looking at porn and masturbating is a powerful chemical cocktail which makes an impact on our brains.

The combination is equal to using heroine and cocaine at the same time. This combo rewires our brain to want more and more of it. I remember how my desire for porn transformed into a need for it.

Before I understood what was happening, I had a powerful chemical dependency on porn. It took a great deal of discipline, accountability, and sobriety for the dependency to weaken. Treating the dependency like a bad habit would’ve led to taking less than serious measures in fighting it.

Chemical dependencies are no joke and we need to fight them with the appropriate seriousness.

4. Filtering Software

So how do we fight an enemy whose invaded our minds? We start by cutting off anything new from getting into our minds. I use filtering software to accomplish this.

I installed Covenant Eyes about two and a half years ago. I’ve been grateful for it every single day since. It creates a barrier between me and the ease of pulling up a Google Chrome window to porn.

This barrier allowed my mind to detox from porn. It gave it time to breathe, rest, and fill itself with other things besides porn. The effort doesn’t end there though.

I also became diligent in avoiding things similar to porn. I look away during bad scenes in movies and even avoiding certain movies or TV shows altogether. I have to starve the part of my brain which wants the visual stimulation of seeing something sexual.

5. Recovery Group

This might be the toughest step. It’s also the one which is most worthwhile. All the previous steps will help you experience the freedom you desire.

They won’t help you dive deep into the reaches of your heart. It is there where your problem finds most of it’s fuel. Even if you become free from porn, which is incredible, the problem can express itself in other ways.

I realized last summer I had a big problem with lusting after women. I knew it was wrong, but justified it because I’d been freed from porn. It wasn’t ‘as bad’.

I also idolize women, dating, and marriage. Porn, lust, and those idols are all three different expressions of the same heart wound from my past. I need Christ’s personal healing to deal with this wound.

It’s kind of like Sleeping Beauty and how only true love’s kiss can awaken her. Jesus is the one who can break the spell which lies over my heart. Without him, I am destined to seek out other sinful pleasures and idols.

‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.’ Galatians  5:1

Jesus didn’t come to Earth just to deliver us from the consequence of an eternity in Hell. He came so that we would be free. My wounded heart seeks out all kinds of sin to make it feel better.

Jesus offers healing though and this healing leads to a wonderful freedom.

Three years ago, I could not have imagined how great freedom from porn would be. I would never have guessed that I’d tell the internet about it. I believe it will be similar when God finishes healing this wound in my heart.

I hope this blog helps you find the same freedom. If you have any further questions, please email me at comments@wastelandkings.net. I appreciate your comments and enjoy reading them. It’s harder to follow up with those comments though because I don’t check the site as often as ai check my email.

Image Copyright: Kaylan Chakravarthy

Facebooktwitterrssby feather
Diet of Daydreams
Overwhelmed by Beauty

Matthew Rial

3 Comments

LEAVE A COMMENT

FEEDBACK