I was eating lunch with a friend the other day and talking about my writing. We discussed my book ideas and the order I wanted to tackle them. I explained my desire to write a book just about porn addiction and then write some fiction books.
He stopped me before the end of my explanation to ask how I decided that order and how long I had wanted to write fiction. I told him a few people encouraged me towards the book on porn addiction and my desire to write fiction went back more than a decade. My friend paused a moment before unloading an important truth on me.
He quoted me a verse from Revelation that says ‘But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.’(Rev. 2:4) Those words hit my chest like a thunderbolt. Writing fiction was my first love and I’ve been ignoring it or putting it at the bottom of the to-do list for years.
Since that conversation, I’ve decided to write a series of fiction novels for my next writing project.
This new path terrifies me and I’ve been anxious about telling other people. The fear comes from my lack of experience in writing fiction and my anxiety comes from the assumption that people will see my non-fiction work as a failure.
Thankfully, fear and anxiety have slowly ebbed away over the last week. They’ve been replaced with the excitement of chasing after my first love. They still linger in the back of my head and heart but every worthwhile journey involves a little danger or risk.
No matter what comes my way, I’m confident God will help me tackle it. This confidence brings me to the first steps of my new path and urges me onwards. For the first step, I must decide which fiction project to work on because I have a few in mind.
I plan on writing the first chapter of each project and sending those around to a few people. I’ll use their feedback to choose one of the projects and then get working. I’m sure sorting through those projects will teach me a good deal about myself and my writing.
It’s inevitable God will also teach me a few life lessons in the process of working on these projects. He’s already shown me that He cares about the loves of my heart and that means the world to me. When the road gets hard and the writing gets difficult, this truth will give me the comfort and strength I need.
I have a few visions of where I would like this new path to lead but I honestly don’t know where it will go. It might take six books or twelve to really hit my stride in fiction writing. I may only find a small amount of success.
These unknowns make for a very important part of my journey. If I knew the end of this path and every twist and turn along the way, it would not be a genuine journey. It would not stretch me, help me grow, and most importantly make me rely on God.
Regardless of how many books I finish or sell, I want to know God better and trust Him more than I do right now. Reaching that goal starts with a simple step onto a path that I don’t know.
What paths can you take in your life that will require trusting God? Could you do something simple this week or even today that requires you to lean on God?
Image Copyright: Gayle Nicholsonby