Wasteland Kings

There’s hope beyond what you can see.

If I could only say one thing to someone laboring under the weight of porn, it would be “there is hope”. The weight of porn is so heavy and it’s such a difficult problem to defeat that we easily become discouraged and lose hope in the face of it. No matter how bad things get, I promise that there is hope.

Thankfully, I have a little more space in the blog to explain where that hope comes from. Over the course of the next few weeks or possibly month, I’m going to talk about how I experienced victory from porn. I’m not sure how long this series will take because this is such an important topic to me.

I also don’t want to just gloss over something that might help anyone laboring under the weight of porn. I’m going to start with talking about the practical side of tackling the problem, then I’ll discuss the emotional side of things, and finally we’ll take a look at the spiritual part of the struggle.

I pray that my story of victory and freedom will give you hope.

Before we dive into the practical stuff, I need to make it clear that God played a key role in every aspect of my story. I would not have employed any of the following practical ways to fight porn if I didn’t have God’s help. His children gave me the encouragement, inspiration, and personal attention that I needed to fight back against porn; they basically convinced me that victory and freedom were possible.

I wouldn’t have made the first step in fighting back against porn without them and their reminder that all things are possible through God.

Welcome to the War

We throw the word ‘struggle’ around quite a bit, but we’re actually just saying that we suffer from a problem with porn. Struggling or fighting back takes much more than acknowledging that you look at porn and that you don’t like it. You need to actually start fighting back and taking practical steps in order to truly struggle against porn; these are a couple of ways that really helped me.

1. Change Your Perspective

We tend to shove porn under the rug and it tends to pop up at the worst time to devour us. I had to change my perspective on porn from a habit I wanted to break to an enemy that I needed to defeat. Making this change in perspective was incredibly important because my porn problem was slowly devouring my mind.

Porn slowly devours us through forming a powerful chemical dependency that comes from a powerful chemical reaction that happens when we look at porn and masturbate. Research has shown that looking at porn is similar to doing heroine and cocaine at the same time. The more you look at porn and experience that chemical explosion, the more you become chemically dependent on porn.

It’s common to believe that, by fighting porn, we’re just fighting our natural sexual desire. This misconception makes it difficult to fight back because we feel like we’re playing a tug of war with a natural part of ourselves and that we can’t hold out forever. The truth is that a chemical dependency has hijacked our sex drive and made us feel this powerful pull to porn.

We must stop thinking of this as an annoying habit and start seeing it as a monster that is slowly trying to devour us. Every time you look at porn and masturbate, you increase that chemical dependency. The only way to decrease that dependency is to fight back and stop looking at porn.

I can tell you that I have felt the effects of this dependency diminish. While I still feel the physical desire for sex from time to time, I’ve gone more than 18 months without porn, masturbation, or sex of any kind. It gets easier the longer you go without it and I can feel the difference between my desire for sex and the chemical dependency that used to pull on me everyday.

2. Get An Accountability Partner

I’ve talked before about how confessing my problem with porn was the first important step and we’ll talk more about that in the emotional and spiritual blogs. In a practical sense, I needed a small group of guys to hold me accountable because it gave me somewhere to run when things got difficult. Whenever I started to feel my temptation become a problem, I could call or text the guys in my group and they would check up on me and give me the encouragement I needed to fight back.

It’s important to say that accountability is our responsibility. We have to be the one who keeps our accountability partner or group updated on what’s going on. We can’t just expect them to sense when things become difficult and call us out of the blue.

It was never fun or exciting to call those guys and tell them I was struggling because it required admitting that I was weak and needed help. There’s an incredible freedom that comes after you admit that to yourself and others though; I promise it’s worth it. Those calls and conversations also reminded me that I wasn’t alone in my fight and that God had put guys in my life to help me; that was priceless to me.

Where to Find Hope

Knowing that I wasn’t alone in the fight and that God wanted to help me gave me hope in even the darkest times of my struggle. That same hope is available to every person who labors under the weight of porn; they just have to reach for it. The best way to reach for that hope is to get plugged into a local church and find a place that hosts a program like Celebrate Recovery.

I could not have changed my perspective on fighting porn or experienced the incredible accountability that I did if I hadn’t plugged into my church. God offers incredible hope to those laboring under the weight of sin and He offers that hope through His children. We have to lock arms with our brothers and sisters and actively fight back against sin if we want to experience victory.

The next blog will continue my discussion on the practical ways to fight porn. Please leave any feedback in the comments section or email me at comments@wastelandkings.net. Until then, I hope you experience the love of the One who desires to break every chain on your heart.

 

Image Copyright: the unnamed

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